EDWARD II (Part 2)

Sunday 21st August 2022 11:30 am

Recently I’ve been reading a number of the Terry Deary’s “Horrible History” series. And I do think there are lessons we can learn and apply today. In particular, in the way we deal with punishment.

I like the idea, for instance, of burning witches at the stake (Nadine Dorries springs to mind); hang, draw and quartering (those Loose Women); or abscisis genitalibus (Jeremy Clarkson).

Specifically, I contrast Boris Johnson with Edward II.

“Prithee, knave, what scribe you there,

By candlelight and fire?”

“Your immortality’s the toil

On which I labour, sire.

For future generations

Your life and legacy

Transcribed upon these parchments

Your obituary.”

“And does this legacy describe

Affairs of court and state?

Or matters more scholastic

By which men deem me great?

Or for the wars I fight against

The heathen that’s the Scot?

Or for my bounty trying to

Improve the peasants’ lot?

Or how the Earls of Lancaster,

Warwick, Arundel,

Were made to kneel before my throne;

Will your story tell?

Or of Gaveston, oh Gaveston,

My love, my heart, my light?

The times we shared together.”

“Your Majesty, not quite”.

The strapline really caters for

A readership more dumb

‘King ‘orribly gets put to death-

Hot poker up his bum’”.

Comments

John Coopey

Mon 22nd Aug 2022 17:20

I’m pretty sure, MC, that the sample plugs they take from your prostate don’t cause it to leak like a watering can rose. In contrast, taking a pee these days is a lively affair as my guzinta can sprinkle its wares in several directions simultaneously.
By the by, I haven’t seen you post in a while. Have your retired your quill and vellum?

M.C. Newberry

Mon 22nd Aug 2022 16:02

"Assume the position"! I recall my own experience at St. Mary's
here in London W2 - instructive to a curious frame of mind that
is always astonished and impressed by the adaptability of the
human body. Mine was a 12-pin intrusion. And I often wonder
just what longer term effect such a medical "assault" would
have on that important internal organ! They never tell youi when
they insist on ongoing check-ups and MRI scans thereafter.
For the patient - out of sight but not quite out of mind.

John Coopey

Mon 22nd Aug 2022 10:33

I rather enjoyed my prostate biopsy, Stephen. I wish I could have another one.
And thanks for the Like, Stephen A.

Stephen Gospage

Mon 22nd Aug 2022 07:48

Brought tears to my eyes, John, as did a similar experience to yours a few years back.

John Coopey

Sun 21st Aug 2022 22:29

Thanks for your thoughts, MC and John.
I’m rather proud to say that I shared a similar experience with Edward II. When I had a prostate biopsy a couple of years ago, the doctor explained to me that he was “introducing a sleeve up my anus” so that he could insert the needle which would take plug samples from the prostate. From my foetus position I told him about Edward II. “I should have a picture of him on my office wall” he said. “Another satisfied customer!”
And thanks for the Likes, Holden and Frederick.

John Botterill

Sun 21st Aug 2022 17:15

Made me wince considerably, John. But, I enjoyed it anyway... 😂

M.C. Newberry

Sun 21st Aug 2022 17:10

Ooeer!! But the consistency is how the "tools" for the job appear.
Henry had his suggestible knights to dispose of Becket; Roger
and his scheming paramour found the knaves to vist Berkeley
Castle on the Severn to stick it up poor Edward. Boris has now
suffered a metaphorical demise at the hands of Sunak & Javid
who stuck it up him in their own opportunistic way. Ouch!!
Back to Edward and Berkeley Castle, the home of the boss of
the Tower of London..It must have been a god-forsaken place
back then, towering over a few hovels and the damp reaches
of the River Severn. And still noted for its dreadful couplet;
The shrieks through Berkeley's rafters ring
The screams of an agonising king.
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EDWARD II (Part 2)

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