I think it's not too early for a Crimble song

Now Christmas time is coming – it’s goodwill to all mankind

And some hope that nice presents in their stocking they might find

But, Santa please, I beg you though unlikely as it seems

It’s nine points over Christmas that I dream of in my dreams.

The wife would like the kitchen done but secretly I moan

“That’s too much brass”; she’ll have to make do with a Toblerone;

I’ve learned to keep receipts because the outlay she redeems

But for me it’s simply nine points that’s the stuff of all my dreams.

My daughter wants some make-up but her chances are quite slim

My boy just says “God bless us, every one” like Tiny Tim

And just like me he’s praying that we shit on other teams

It’s nine points over Christmas that we dream of in our dreams.

I know there’s bigger issues that should exercise my mind

Like climate change and poverty and war across mankind

I can’t help feeling guilty about more important themes

But it’s nine points over Christmas that I dream of in my dreams.