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When my brain of mine started to malfunction

The doctors found a label for my chemical soup

Parkinson’s it read, which initially didn’t dawn

It’s not just me who has unjustly been afflicted

 

Sometimes when I am alone with my thoughts

They wander from the man I was to him I’m going to be

Waves of sadness envelope me, overcome senses

I sob uncontrollably into a dark place devoid of reason

 

The love of my life had married me for me myself

She hadn’t married this chemically modified future me

This was our voyage of discovery our all time love

I want her for my wife, my lover not as my carer

 

God blessed our love with two wonderful boys

They had every to expect an energetic dad

I was supposed to be a fun, dad a perfect role model

I was supposed to care for them, not them me

 

As a son of my parents love, I was the next generation

Don’t son’s grow up, leave home, testimony to their love

Shouldn’t they sit back with satisfaction as I achieved

They should’ve had their retirement, not worry over me

 

As my Parkinson’s creeps over me, overtaking systems

I worry what my friends see when face muscles stiffen

Do they think me boring person when my look so serious

Fatigue slows me down, I get tired, but I’m still me

I sometime panic wondering what strangers see

If I need a stick that immediately I am ten years older

As I walk; I shuffle, stagger along a sober drunk

I’ve seen those looks saying ‘look at that piss head’

 

I still weep in the dark, but sometimes I get stubborn

I get real angry thinking the degree I got was wasted

Then I say be dammed with all my Parkinsonism

I have a lot to offer and by God the world will get it