Still Here

An ex engineer

With the bushy mustache and thick glasses

 To accompany your position

A profession that saved your life— time and time again

And gave your drive and your vision 

 

A narrative of ‘I’m not lonely’

But you’ll talk my ear off every session

Keen to learn about therapy techniques

Simply because of the structure and the framework in the lesson

 

An overcompensation in demeanor

To give an impression of  ‘I’m fine—you can go away’

But when you realise that I will listen— and be kind

You become needy and beg for me to stay

 

Responses developed from undiagnosed emotional trauma

Neurodivergence

And a displacement from your culture

Your People 

And  land

 

Surviving war atrocities time and time again

That no one unaffected— could ever understand

 

You are not easy company—that’s for sure

But I really feel for you

For what you have overcome

And all the bullshit you’ve been through

 

When we meet

You divulge at length about technology and  your specialised interests

As though it also interests me

Anyone from the outside could say to you ‘hey,  your visitor might want to say something too, isn't that easy to see?’

But I know that me being there

Brings you some comfort

So that’s enough for me

 

Senelis (My grandad)

Not long after Christmas— that year— you  departed

In my mind that day is clear

But when I talk to this man

Who I’ve described

Your ‘brother’— from a not so different life

I wonder if you are still here