The Thirty Six Hour Erection

 

As I perused the Grimstone Echo

In the classified ads section

One advert really caught my eye

For a thirty six hour erection

Bouncy Castle Bill had branched out a bit

And did other things on the side

Including the thing in the advert

For a huge inflatable slide

For the princely sum of thirty five quid

He’d bring the thing on site

Erect it in your garden

And let you keep it overnight

Cos he’d done a business study

And worked out that it pays

A tidy little bonus

When you keep it for one and half days

 

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It’s a thirty six hour erection

Is somebody having a laugh

To keep it up for thirty six hours

I mean… that’s a day and a half

A thirty six hour erection

It’s a bit excessive in’it

And what can you do for thirty six hours

That you can’t do in a minute

 

So I gave Bouncy Castle Bill a bell

To see’f the slide would fit in my garden

And I asked him to work out the area

He said…..ooooh that’s a hard ‘un

Can I come around on Saturday

To give your yard a measure

To see’f the site is suitable

I said… yes it’s a pleasure

So he scheduled in a visit

To do a site inspection

To see’f the site was big enough

For a thirty six hour erection

 

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Well the slide fit into my garden… no probs

And he came round the next day to erect it

And he said that he’d come back in thirty six hours

And he told me the time he’d collect it

Then I looked at the slide in my garden with pride

Knowing Bill wun’t be back till t’next day

And I wanted to show off my erection

So I invited my neighbours to play

Including Maggie Slugshaw

A massive mistake on reflection

Because she left her stilettos on

On my thirty six hour erection

 

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It weren’t really a bang… it wor more of a pop

As her heel sliced in through the cloth

And the erection came crashing down with a thud

And the top of the slide buggered off

Crestfallen and deflated… and feeling rather limp

I looked at the site where the slide

Once stood proud… now just a deflated old blimp

 

 

It’s hard to keep your pecker up

And make out as if everything’s sound

When your thirty six hour erection’s

An empty sack… spent on the ground

But all’s not lost.. I gave Bill a bell

And told him about the leak

And he said he’d got another one.. that he rents out by the week