You might think it specialised in Stetson hats

But no! it caters for blokes with huge stats

Though they don’t call the website “Lardarses and Fats”

For fear of offending them slightly

It goes by the name “High and Mighty”.

 

Its clientele all have an oversized girth

From shovelling chips in for all that they’re are worth

“Genetic” they’ll say, “I’ve been big from birth”

The Manager nods most politely

(A common line at “High and Mighty”).

 

He used to get clothes from the Exchange and Mart

But now to the salesman he coyly imparts

I need a loose-fitting shirt playing my darts

As big as Our Gert’s floral nightie

No problem for “High and Mighty”.

 

He tries three or four on that’s all XOS

And 56 waisters with little success

“Fear not” says the salesman, keen to impress

“I’ve something to fit you less tightly;

For nothing are we “High and Mighty”.

 

At one time there used to be Evans next door

Where women call “plus sized” could browse and explore

And pull on huge dresses found round the shop floor

With frocks on which money was spent

As big as a Chipperfield’s tent.

 

But sad to relate that their stores are no more

That caters for old Billy Bunters and Thor

With shirts, vests and trousers big as a barn door

No longer are seen here in Blighty

They’re now Internet “High and Mighty”.