Today's homework is: arrive in Paris
But this is maths, sir
Yes. Les devoirs sont to arrive in Paris
But sir, how do we get there?
That's the homework

I know, sir
Yes?
My aunty lives in Hull
Fascinating, fascinating
No really, sir, you can get the ferry to Zebrugge
But then you'll be in Belgium
Then you can catch a bus to Lille and then another bus to Amiens and…
How do you know all this?
I just know, sir

Well, for the rest of us mortals…
I know, sir, you can get the Eurostar, that gets you to Paris
Yes, if you're already in London
Can I ask my mum how she got there?
No
My dad said he went over on a hovercraft, sir
Yes, but that's how they did it when your dad was in school
What if I chartered a helicopter, sir, and told the pilot "go to Paris"
Come on, that would be cheating

But sir!
All right. Where am I in this photo?
In McDonalds, sir
It's a McDonalds in Paris
But sir, it looks just the same as McDonalds in Stevenage
Don't be ridiculous. The bin says Merci
But it doesn't say how to get there, sir
Correct. Now, here's me beside the Eiffel Tower

But how did you get there, sir?
I'm not going to do your homework for you.