When will it go away?

 

The pain in my chest

 

Pain in my stomach

 

Pain. 

 

It’s repetitive and never stops

 

It creeps up on me like bugs

 

Stings like a wasp

 

Bites like a mosquito

 

And leaves, taking a small part of me

 

Some say it’s a part of life 

 

Maybe I don’t want that

 

If this is life 

 

Maybe I don’t want any part of it

 

The sorrow is neverending

 

The pain is agonizing

 

The light is quickly dying

 

It’s selfish to want to go, but maybe it’s time

 

Time to make room for others

 

Others who will make a difference

 

Others who are important

 

Maybe if I was one of those persons,

 

I’d have a reason to stay

 

Hopes and dreams have come and gone

 

Now I see them as just fairytales

 

Hopeful as a child

 

Disappointed as a grown-up

 

The world is cruel

 

No matter how hard I try

 

The wounds don’t heal.

 

The tears won’t stop.

 

The pain won’t cease.

 

This is it.

 

Grabbing for the poison on the table, I’m stopped.

 

Stopped by an old friend.

 

The one “I” forgot

 

He never did me wrong

 

He was always there.

 

“Sometimes in life mistakes are made, but you aren’t one.”

 

“So stay.”

 

“For I will never leave you.” (Heb 13:5)

 

Held in a hug

 

My pain turned to relief

 

My sadness to joy

 

Joy is what i’d been searching for

 

And so close to death,

 

I finally found it.