no matter how hard 
i try to explain 

 

 

i have anxiety. 

 

 

it is hard for me to come 
into a new situation and 
not become overwhelmed 
with the people around me.

 

the new surroundings that i 
have to figure out leads to my 
heart beating so hard and fast. 

 

my eyes begin to fill and my heart 
does some kind of feeling that 
makes me super uncomfortable.

 

 

but thats my anxiety. thats my fear. 

 

 

i fear that people i have encountered
confuse it for being socially awkward and anxious.

 

in his words ditsy, and incapable.
as if i don’t have my own mind.

 

 

i do.

 

 

i want to be able to just put 
myself out there in any situation,
but i can’t. 

 

not at the moment. and i blame myself for that.