How does one move on from betrayal and grief?

Resources swear "follow these steps to find relief".

Accept the hurt, embrace the pain,

Choose to trust your partner and learn to love again.

 

I'm convinced this advice comes from people who just don't know,

That being betrayed by the person you least expected to hurt you, hinders your ability to grow.

I accepted the hurt, I embraced the pain, but how can I trust you knowing how easily you lie,

Learning to love again is something I'm not sure I'm ready or willing to try.

 

You swear you'll change and tell me this time you mean it,

I roll my eyes at your lies because after nine years I learned you've always been full of shit.

You lied to me as your girlfriend, fiance, and now wife,

Yet I am expected to "choose forgiveness" as if you didn't ruin my life.

 

I bragged that I was happy to be in a healthy relationship for the first time,

Growing up watching a loveless marriage I swore that would never be mine.

I loved you every second of every single day,

I struggle to comprehend how you knew my past and still chose to treat me that way.

 

So how am I expected to trust you once more,

When two months later I still feel as if I'm drowning in the ocean with no sign of shore.

Desperately trying to get my head above water to breathe fresh air,

Exerting all of my energy searching for something that isn't there.

 

Trapped within the prison of the harrowing thoughts in my head,

Lost with no hope in this life of dread.

So, you tell me what I should do,

Should I choose myself, or continue to choose you?