Time Again Once More.

 

The old man is lying uncomfortably in the hospital bed.

An array of odd, shaped pillows laying around his head.

You make your way very carefully over to him.

Trying your best not to knock all the cables from the machines.

You sit down by him and quietly say hello.

He gazes at you but who you are he doesn't really know.

 

He tries to murmur something, but you don't understand.

You mumble in return something so he thinks you can.

Its saddening you deeply to see him like this.

On the hope that he is not in too much pain is all you can really wish.

You know these are the last moments of a proud man's life.

Hard working intelligent man overloaded with pride.

 

Someone you wished you really had a chance to get to properly know.

But for various reasons your relationship sometimes ebbed and sometimes flowed.

You took his frail hand and talked hoping some of it he understood.

If you could turn all the clocks back and start again you would.

You have 1000 regrets that you try so hard to explain.

But if you were both being honest, your both just as much to blame.

 

This man made a decision that affected the whole of your life.

It was cold and callous for an adult to put all the blame on a child.

But somehow, it's you who's been riddled with guilt ever since.

On numerous occasions taking you to the very brink.

Time is limited and slowly running out and you need to make a move.

You end by saying some nice things and you try to lighten the mood.

 

You tell him you love him with tears in your eyes.

Maybe it was your imagination, but you thought you saw a little smile.

You stand and lean over kissing gently on the head.

Rearrange the blankets, check he is comfy in his bed.

You take a deep breath and walk slowly towards the door.

And your final wish is that you and he could have your time again once more.

 

Nataiella 1979.