Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb

 

When I was very young it wasn’t very hard

You could find rhubarb in every back yard

A ruby red treasure growing from the ground

Worth its weight in gold and so easily found

Your mother would cook it and put it in a pie

But its very best use – and I tell no lie –

Was to dig it up and treat it like grapes upon the vine

By turning it by magic into rhubarb wine

 

Well you can eat it, you can spread it, you can put it in a flan

And it works on the gut far better than bran

And if you’re feeling down you can even get pissed

It’s great being a rhubarb triangulist

 

Now they’re sitting in a shed listening to it grow

Forced rhubarb for the annual show

Creaking like an old man with arthritic bones

They even say it works on your erogenous zones

Grows an inch a day susceptible to strong light

The pickers pull the stalks by candlelight

If you get the chance you really should wangle

Spending some time in the rhubarb triangle

 

 

Well you can eat it, you can spread it, you can put it in a flan

And it works on the gut far better than bran

And if you’re feeling down you can even get pissed

It’s great being a rhubarb triangulist

 

Jams and chutneys sitting there for free

In a Lupset back garden beneath the old oak tree

And there really was nothing that tasted so great

as eating it raw with sugar on an old chipped plate

My dad used to say it put hairs on your chest

So me and my brother put his theory to the test

We’ve both grown up big and healthy and strong

And my nickname at school was Junior King Kong

 

So you can eat it, you can spread it, you can put it in a flan

And it works on the gut far better than bran

And if you’re feeling down you can even get pissed

It’s great being a rhubarb triangulist

Yes you can eat it, you can spread it, you can put it in a flan

And it works on the gut far better than bran

And if you’re feeling down you can even get pissed

It’s great being a rhubarb triangulist