There was a lot of stockings and wrinkled old tights

Snoozing time – not a pretty sight

Just down past the ankles some knickers were hung

The smell of piss was coming on strong.

The Saturday night beetle drive had already started

As Madge and her girls sprang into action

Deaf Millie slowly woke and opened one eye

Said, “Tonight of all nights there’s gonna be a fight”.

Millie don’t like it living here in this home

The girls have a clique and so Millie’s all alone

“They won’t talk to me cos I’m deaf and got gout”

Because she can’t hear they just shut Millie out

From beetle drives and lotto and from all the raffles too

But Millie’s had enough – she had it through and through

She climbs out of her chair and she waddles with her frame

She slowly makes her way to Madge and Millie exclaims,

“You’ve missed me from the beetle drive again, you lousy bitch!

The rest of you are fucking cows and she’s a fucking witch!

I wasn’t even sleeping, you scheming rotten crows.”

Then raises up her stick and rains down several blows

As Millie screams abuse, “Hey!”, bleeding from her nose

“It was a cat nap – you fucking hoes!”