Hey everyone I'm looking for a sandy beach to buy 

where I can go stick my head in the sand for four looong years.

Really, I don't want to know what's going on in this world of bad news, bad news, bad news.

I don't want to buy a newspaper for a dime from the boy on the corner,

I don't want to sit around the old brown radio with the family and fiddle with the dial to see what we can hear,

I don't want to plop in front of the little black and white screened tv my parents won in a raffle,

I don't want to watch the serious men in suits puff on their cigs and recite the news,

I don't want the full screen colored version brought on all those cable channels either,

and finally I am not interested in scrolling through Google Land to see what's up with Orange Man and his friends.

Nope, I'm looking for a deserted beach to buy.

It will be named Camp Head in the Sand.

Thank you!

This will Make Me Great Again,

even though, really, I just want to be humble.