Lazy male alone


Paid me cleaner

Checked her
But
The house is a mess in ten minutes

Man living
Man alone
Man makes a mess
Of his lonely home so quick
I just cant keep tidy
As I go along
I’m constantly tripping
And doing wrong with Hoovers
And gadget attachment’s make it fun
For a while
Then novelty wears
My pilot faced smile
And I fly nothing
I stick rubbish in bins
Busted
I use carrier bags and wire wrap
Cursed chores
I mop floors
Around table legs
Instead of moving furniture
Wipe down dusty cloth
The silent voice of mothers wroth
In my ears

If she could see me now
Make your bed
Fold your clothes
Stop re arrange the Laura Ashley throws
I bought for special occasions
Cease this male dominant invasion
In my home!

Oh my
What I throne on which I fell
The bedsit life
The creeping hell
Of the mess
Once past the tipping point I don’t care
Too much mess
And look what pours out of the plug-hole
But body hair
And the wing and prayer of a spider
Slipping and just holding on
Super love it creepy crawley
Interesting thing
I put him outside

Boring housework
Boring pans
Boring pots
Boring nans
For tea
I hate Sundays roast
I hate the toast to Songs of praise
I hate the slothing ways of Sundays

Glad to rid it
Glad to be here
In single man land
Single man land
I do handstands to relieve boredom
I use tissues to wipe the floor of them
Spills
I mistake bird trill
For fancy frills of alpen
I put sugar in the deadpan humour
I keep under the bed for rainy days
I go off on tangents
I keep bicycles in halls
And mud in shawls
Of reclusivness
I keep Robertson’s jam gone off
With butter mixed in
I scoff monster munch in the bath
I laugh quietly to sick jokes
I crack egg yolks in frying pans
Mouldy
I scoldy me hands
On kettle steam
I scream when a winning team comes in
Over the radio
I am silent
I am noisy
I am single
I am boyzy

I cant keep the place clean
Or tidy
I cant

I
a lazy male
Alone.