The Parting
My heartbeats measure the night.
How many weeks now has sleep mocked me?
How many months?
Late in the breathing hours when
My blood’s rhythm drowns my mind,
When I softly touch oblivion
My hands betray me.
Through my fingertips pulses
The feel of you.
My treacherous hands throb down your body
Until their aching need pervades my thighs –
My heart - my soul.
But I have nothing -
Only the feel of you in my fingers.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Love it.
I think 'pulses' - but I'd move it to the next line.
Cx
I missed the innuendo in the title at first glance.I like "late in the breathing hours" a lot. You could lose "now" from 2nd line.
I can't decide which is "correct" -Through my fingertips pulses or pulse?
i remember this well, cynthia.. perhaps it's something a few of us should do root back into our past.. mine are mostly crap, (earlier stuff) so perhaps not on my case, but it's a nice idea.. x
Powerful, sensual poem, Cynthia. Thanks from a comparative newcomer for re-releasing it
I really love this, Cynthia, and don't feel it needs elucidating at all! I'm glad you decided to share it with us again, being comparatively new to WOL. x
<Deleted User> (6534)
Sun 19th Sep 2010 18:32
Treacherous throbbing and thighs being pervaded can you elucidate further
Cynthia, you're very kind to me. Most of the poems I've whacked on this site I've had published or published myself.
Feedback is great. I submit so many coz I get bored too easy.
I myself don't give many comments coz I don't know much about poems or poetry and am no critic.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.xx
This is the very first poem that I shared with WOL. I'm feeling nostalgic today, remembering so many comments which readers have shared.
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Isobel
Mon 20th Sep 2010 22:21
I like this one - the longing, the needing is so well expressed. I like the play on the title - I'm presuming the beloved is no longer there and there is a little bit of fantasy going on. Love the 'late in the breathing hours' line - also the 'bloods rhythm drowned' idea. I think it is an excellent idea to share earlier work - after all, there is quite a turnover on here. I might do the same myself when I hit a dry spell. x