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Santa

Monday 13th December 2010 5:47 pm

The last of the believers has outgrown

stockings and keeps her own counsel,

hedging her bets, placing losses on ice.

Trees and trimmings, artificial candles;

part Charles Dickens and part Charles Darwin.

He's halfway up the wall of the house

that's opposite, looking like a cure

for constipation - winking and winking all night.

Does everyone think we're made of electric?

I don't care what you learnt in science.

December cracks and there's condensation

above the bed where I'm not sleeping.

The ceiling blackens, dreams are melting:

drip, drip, drip go the decorations.

You'll never capture the great shape-shifter

on a closed-circuit TV camera;

I spent years perfecting these stories.

School has a visit from celebrity culture

and she gets to meet a special person -

ten times better than visiting Santa.

The world gets paler every winter.

◄ The Last House In Birmingham

Riverside Inn ►

Comments

Lynn Dye

Wed 15th Dec 2010 16:25

I really like this too, Ray. Lots of very good lines. x

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 15th Dec 2010 15:20

The last line is superb; a punchline that sums up a whole idea needs great skill. IMO, I would drop the two 'Charles' and leave 'Dickens' and "Darwin' to tell the whole point, making a snappier line as well. 'dreams are melting; drip, drip, drip go the decorations' is a super metaphor using vibrant alliteration and onomatopoeia.

Ann Foxglove

Wed 15th Dec 2010 14:50

I really like this Ray
"The last of the believers has outgrown
stockings and keeps her own counsel"
and
"December cracks and there's condensation
above the bed where I'm not sleeping"
being my favourite bits. Full of the disillusion of being a grown up, as we used to call them (us!) Have a good one! x

<Deleted User> (3841)

Tue 14th Dec 2010 23:24

Enjoyed this, very conventional look at Christmas and that loss of innocence both in terms of santa but also kids growing up too fast, the lines about celebrity culture being more popular excellent and sad. I find it difficult to write Christmas poems because of the 'bah humbug' thing but you tackled this brilliantly.

<Deleted User> (6534)

Tue 14th Dec 2010 20:28

I love the opening line. If poems were football teams I would be putting a bid in for it

<Deleted User> (7789)

Tue 14th Dec 2010 16:53

Santa Claus? How about Father Christmas, his real name! Or even Saint Nicholas? (If he is a saint, he must come down from heaven every year to do the deliveries, rather than live in a shack at the North Pole as is popularly believed. (I like the poem, by the way!! I see the loss of innocence theme)

Laura Taylor

Tue 14th Dec 2010 14:27

Liked this a lot Ray - love how you change the perspective into it being you/Santa :)

That's a sad story there Isobel, must be so weird to spend xmas without your kid.

My lass still remembers how she found out about father christmas. I'd been doing the tooth fairy thing, took the tooth out from under the pillow and put it on the bedside table, put the coin under the pillow, and forgot the tooth! She confronted me with it next morning (aged 7) and said 'does this mean that you were lying about father christmas too?'!!! Busted!

Isobel

Tue 14th Dec 2010 13:58

PS No-one outgrows stockings in my house - they are forced to have them - nuts they don't crack - tangerines that go mushy - nasty reindeeers that shit chocolate raisins - it's all about tradition!

Isobel

Tue 14th Dec 2010 13:56

I'm glad to see you back too. I feared you may end up in Wolverhampton.
It has ocurred to me that this is probably the last year that my youngest will still believe in Santa and as she isn't spending Christmas with me, that is sad.
You cover a lot in here - the loss of all that innocence and wonder is a tough one for parents. More so observing the differences between present youth and what we used to be. I enjoyed this poem - though it's a little sad. Great finishing line. x

Greg Freeman

Mon 13th Dec 2010 20:11

You do 'bah, humbug' very well, Ray. I like "I spent years perfecting these stories" and "the world gets paler every winter", despite all the fairy lights. Musical moments include shape-shifter, closed-circuit TV camera, celebrity culture. Good stuff. Good to see you back here too. I'm sure it's just coincidence that Villa beat the Baggies at the weekend...

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