Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

A charm of goldfinches

entry picture

 

a charm of goldfinches

settle on the teasels

making them sway

 

delicate metronomes

of gold, jet and ruby

illuminates the

scrappy winter garden

 

alighting in sequence

like beads on the string

of a short day’s sunlight.

 

between hedges a wren

flits like a skimming stone

low and quiet

and all the world

is whispering.

 

 

◄ polar bear love song

motherfuckinfox ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (8943)

Thu 6th Jan 2011 13:13

Absolutely "charm"ing Ann, exactly what's needed on a dull winter's day, brought a smile to my face - thanks. x

Profile image

Fkx

Mon 3rd Jan 2011 13:50

Very beautiful... such a pastoral feel with its rustic tones and chirpy lines. Thanks for sharing.

Profile image

Greg Freeman

Sun 2nd Jan 2011 22:43

Just found this one, Ann. Liked these lines particularly: "like beads on the string / of a short day's sunlight."

Philipos

Sun 2nd Jan 2011 22:35

thought it read beautifully with or without any changes - charming from the piccy and the title down

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sun 2nd Jan 2011 19:31

Took one of your suggestions! Ta! ;-)

Profile image

Ray Miller

Sun 2nd Jan 2011 19:23

Very charming poem, Ann. If you don't mind a few suggestions:
3rd line - and set them swaying.
illuminate rather than illuminating.
skims like a stone.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message