like paper
In a dream
I took your hand.
It felt like paper.
You tried to hide it
in your pocket.
But I pursued it.
Then you moved away.
In a dream
I took your hand.
It felt like paper.
You tried to hide it
in your pocket.
But I pursued it.
Then you moved away.
<Deleted User> (7164)
Thu 27th Jan 2011 11:03
I love the intrigue this portrays for me. Nice one Ann :-)
Liking your minimal phase very much, Ann. This is wonderful - it could be interpreted as what was written on the hand reveals the true heart. x
Oh I've got writer's block Graham - only minimal stuff at the moment. Sorry!
This feels unfinished to me Ann. As the other comments suggest. You could either add your conjecture about the dream or put it into the dream.
The content didn't grip me enough to wonder what the dream was about.
i was realy touched by this. lovely. xx
wow ann, believe or not whilst you were dreaming I wrote a poem called 'paper man' and never finished it. it was all descriptions of skin as paper and the person being without substance...fancy that!
Not brittle, just elusive! Thanks for the comment Janet.
<Deleted User> (6356)
Wed 26th Jan 2011 14:31
Oooh and I like the picture you put with the poem too :)
<Deleted User> (6356)
Wed 26th Jan 2011 14:30
Im not the best on the meanings of poems but is it talking of a brittle love?, In any case I really enjoyed reading it , one of my faves, really interesting use of phrases and I think its shortness makes the words feel stronger :-)
Thanks guys. It was just a quickie based on a dream I had last night!
short and certainly not sweet but was really really touched by it.. top stuff, ann - loved it x
<Deleted User> (8730)
Wed 26th Jan 2011 12:09
Leaves me wondering what was on the paper
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<Deleted User> (7212)
Fri 28th Jan 2011 09:32
Ann- nothing wrong with a Quickie every now & then ;)