Once there was a hapless thief

Who didn’t have a clue.

He heard that Gants Hill station safe

Would be the one to do.

For a start he got the station wrong,

He turned up at Grange Hill,

A quiet little station,

Their takings virtually nil.

He arrived with enough explosives

To blow up half the street,

Never mind about just the safe,

His maker he was to meet!

Luckily, he was stopped by police

Before he could do any harm.

The station staff found it amusing,

This story has a certain charm.

The safe had not been locked for years.

The thief could have opened its door.

Just used for the booking clerk’s sandwiches,

As it made a perfect cold-store.

Would you believe this story is true,

It happened on the Central line.

My man worked there in ’71,

We had a good laugh at the time….