Reasonable Behaviour

 

When you are stamping around the kitchen,

And you have found some crockery to chuck,

This is something I can always handle,

At least I can run and duck.

When you remind me for the umpteenth time,

That I am a total waste of space,

That you rue the day you met me,

And wipe that stupid look off my face,

All of this I can cope with,

It really is nothing at all,

But when you start being reasonable,

It drives me up the bloody wall!

 

You would not like me to do it to you,

So why do you do it to me?

Sitting there so calm and collected,

And talking, like, reasonably.

You know it's a shortcut to my submission,

Much more effective than using force,

I am sure your reasonable behaviour,

Would be good grounds for a divorce.

'cos when you are not being so pleasant,

You can actually be quite nice,

It is just your reasonable behaviour,

That has got me seeking legal advice.

 

 So why can't you be less reasonable?,

It's not an unreasonable thing to ask,

It would make being in the doghouse,

A much less painful task.

There is no reason for such reasonableness,

And making your position so clear,

How am I supposed to understand,

If you are not shouting it into my ear?,

But you sit there and discuss it logically,

Like you have got the matter in hand,

At least when I am cowering behind the sofa,

I know exactly where I stand.

(c) Ledger de la Bald