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The One That Got Away

Look at me you little shit!

Why can't you accept the words

i want to fit, into the bowels of my history.

What is it you are trying to say?

 

Show me in words of more than one syllable

if you want my undivided attention,

don't grab me by the throat!

 

Tease me to please me.

Kiss me and whoosh my soul.

Fill me to thrill me,

caress me with rhythmic control.

Feed me with passion and a wholesome embrace.

Tickle my senses with humour in good taste,

or fry and sizzle until you burn in disgrace.

 

Come now my love,

let us meet again.

We might reach a compromise.

Work together harmoniously,

for each other as well as mankind.

In the face of adversity we must prevail.

Caring; sharing through laughter and tears,

embracing through times of hardship and loss.

It matters not which one is the boss.

We must overcome the language barriers

and emboss with creative words.

 

I will iron the kinks

in your shirts and tails.

I will carefully tend to your dickie bow tie.

Even though there might be a crease too many,

and no money in the seat of your pants, i will try

to do my best and that is all anyone can do.

 

So come now my love, forgive my mortal sin.

After all is said and done,

i didn't confine you to the shredder.

I rescued you from the bin.

 

 

Inspired to post this old thing because of the recent discussions on 'Line breaks', punctuation, grammar and such. I stopped including punctuation because there always seemed to be errors which i could neither understand how to put right or could be arsed enough to bother.

 I'm not at all precious about any of my poems these days so please feel free to have a debate here on the use of punctuation and make suggestions. I look forward to reading if anyone is inclined to have a go :-)

◄ Five, six, seven, eight... hair!

Comments

<Deleted User> (7164)

Tue 22nd Mar 2011 22:04

Thanks Anthony... having you on?
Would I ? :-)

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Anthony Emmerson

Mon 21st Mar 2011 11:42

Hi Janet,

I don't think this needs any tinkering with. You're having us on! It works well for me, the line breaks being effective punctuation. Don't chuck it away again!

Regards,
A.E.

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sun 20th Mar 2011 10:08

Thanks for comments :-)

Steve - yeah, i see what you mean :-)

Isobel - They used to teach punctuation when i was at school too. It's mostly those flippin' colons and semi-colons that confuse me. I'm proud to say i got 96% in English language and 97% in English lit in my GCSE's but that was a very long time ago :-)

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Isobel

Thu 17th Mar 2011 22:42

'Look at me you little shit' has to be a the best start to a poem, I've seen in a long time - can't think why I haven't used that one myself. Very attention grabbing!

It's too late for my mind to bend itself round punctuation. They used to teach it when I was at school so it comes naturally - or sometimes I just decide not to clutter the poem with it.

A nice light hearted poem. I have plenty of poems like this - that i haven't shredded but not perfected either.

Thanks for commenting on my latest Janet - it's much appreciated. x

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Laura Taylor

Thu 17th Mar 2011 16:00

Ha - nice ending Janet! Had me going there :D

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