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Baggage Class [sonnet]

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When frightened people run this broken world,
this broken world will not remove their fear;
for fear accumulates and, like a pearl,
in secret grows until it domineers.
When frightened people feign to be one's friends,
that friendship will not take away their dread;
as phobic apprehension never ends
but yeastifies like sour unleavened bread.
However big your axe-to-grind becomes,
your shoulder-chip it will not hack away.
The fact remains that we cannot be chums
until you can embrace the present-day.
   It's not the baggage size which spoils the freight
   but if what's packed inside is out of date.

◄ The Turning Coat

Anger Mismanagement ►

Comments

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Isobel

Sun 12th Jun 2011 20:19

As Ray says - there are few sonnets or structured poems on WOL - cos it is bloody hard to do without sounding forced. I've only done one I think and it took me ages.

I loved the play on words in this - also the acknowledgement of the insecurities that besiege and undermine so many of us.

Nice one. x

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Ray Miller

Fri 10th Jun 2011 20:08

Not many sonnets on WOL and this is pretty good too. You've kept the 10 syllable count and rhyme meticulously, though that sometimes leads us to unnatural constructions like

your shoulder-chip it will not hack away.

when it will not hack away your shoulder-chip is what we want - and probably what we started with?
The stress seems a bit wrong at the beginning of this line too

until you can embrace the present-day.

yeasifies!? Is that a proper word?

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