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It fills the room in which we dine

at tables doomed for eight or nine;

the champagne glasses deftly clinked,

though champagne isn't what we drink.

The chicken textured rubber duck

and vegetables are overcooked;

rain dribbles down the window-panes,

the walls exhibit aged stains.

The waitress frowns, absorbed, remote;

you make a sound, you clear your throat......

..........then whisper something indistinct:

our stiltedness makes others wince.

Is it the presence of an absence

or the absence of a presence?

This subject that you fail to mention,

always trailing off mid-sentence.

The portraits yawn, the music plinks,

a napkin's drawn to bloodless lips.

So many seats remain unfilled:

it isn't quite as it was billed.

It never is and seldom was,

we visit every year because

we once were smitten in this fog,

and bitten now seek hair of dog.

◄ Scorpion

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Comments

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Ray Miller

Tue 23rd Aug 2011 17:19

Thanks all.
Ann- it's not autobiographical, thank goodness.Yes, I'm not wholly convinced by those lines. They maybe belong in another poem.

Philipos - I like Betjeman, though it's not at all fashionable to say that, is it?

John - I have, John, and I know what you mean.

Francine. What the last line tries to convey are those mostly futile efforts to recapture something long dead by returning to "where it all began". The more I think about it the less it works! Ha!

Dave - "closes with a snap" - is that a pun?

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Dave Bradley

Tue 23rd Aug 2011 07:49

Powerful, poignant, resonant. As Francine says, it flows very well. And it closes with a snap!

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Francine

Tue 23rd Aug 2011 03:40

This flows nicely. I can also relate to such a place.
I have to agree with Ann about the questions...
I don't understand the last line, 'and bitten now seek hair of dog.'


p.s. I looked it up and I guess it has something to do with hangovers...?

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John Coopey

Mon 22nd Aug 2011 22:54

You've been to Weston-super-Mare, the?

Philipos

Mon 22nd Aug 2011 19:22

I know that journey quite well,'Is it the presence of an absence or the absence of a presence?' Sensed the rhythm of Betjeman too.

So descriptive and will resonate with many I am sure. Some really nice images here but even the wistfulness and meloncholia work quite well.

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 22nd Aug 2011 19:14

Ouch - makes me glad I'm on my own! I might leave out the lines about presence or absence if it was me, it takes us away from the chilling description of the anniversary. But I like it a lot.

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