Only
by, Melissa R. Mendelson

I try to be human,
laugh as they laugh,
and be a part
of their life,
but my life
has been unlived
for a very long time.
And I forget
to be human.
I don’t feel.
I think,
my mind a wheel
spinning and spinning
until the late
hours of night,
where sleep steals me away,
and then I awake,
empty,
alone.
And I forget.
My life remains
unlived,
and my day lies
in repetition.
I’m machine,
a screw in the wheel
of this world,
and I get run over,
forgetting that I am more
than I am.
And when I remember,
I try to be.
I try to laugh
as they laugh.
I cry
when they cry.
I
feel,
an alien presence,
and then I forget
that I am only
human.