Low she bends upon her knee
Trawling fingers
Through the sea,
And the waves obey.
Wide she flings her arms to flare
Butterfly wings
Upon the air,
And the winds obey.
Upon her toes stretched ever higher
She plucks clouds
From sunset fire,
And the flames obey.
Deep she breathes in rhythm spanned
And stills the hills
Across the land,
And the rocks obey.
Into her heart-space gathers she
The woes of Fire,
Earth, Air and Sea,
And they obey!
Cynthia Buell Thomas
<Deleted User> (6315)
Thu 29th Sep 2011 18:41
Full to brimming with the Craft Cnythia..I adore this one of yours :)
U-oh - Mrs Malaprop strikes again. You are quite right Graham - Diana Geneen happens to be Pensions Manager for United Biscuits down in Southall.... I think I have worked with her somewhere along the line! My claim to fame is that I think I once worked out the pension benefits for Moran's husband - at least I think I did - I suppose it could have been somebody else...
There is an exhilarating feeling of freedom in this that I find enchanting.
Powerful - element commanding - stuff.The `trawling` Butterfly` and `plucks` are impressively stilled into the spanned rhythm of the fourth stanza.The `heart space` is excellent.Makes the reader feel that he (or should it be she?) is lord of everything.good poem.
Tight and cleverly written in this format Cynthia. Great, Heavy mystical / earth mother overtones for me. Winston
Thanks for the comments, people; very encouraging. I tucked a 'u' into glamorous, figuring it must be the British way (even though the spellcheck was raving red lines - but it's American oriented, and I ignore it lots.)
'glamour' is an old word for magic, spells, enchantment, visions etc, usually defined as visually 'spell-binding', but including all the other essences of attraction as well. It is originally from the ancient Scottish language, with connections to 'Grammar', and the mysticism of written signs if I remember rightly.
I love the way poetry can go anywhere with its imagery, depending on the reader's interests and experiences. One line set this poem off, days ago. Even that line has been drastically altered, but all the comments are spot on, because the concept went in circles around me, and I had to chase it down, like tackling a wild laughing imp.
Diana Moran was the Green Goddess. I once shared a picnic with her and Lionel Blair!
Yes - we don't have many structured poems on here - it is good to know that form is still alive and kicking.
I didn't mind the change in rythm at the end cos it did mark a pulling together of all that went before, much like Graham said.
I was reminded of the Green Goddess who used to do exercises on breakfast tv back in the 80s. I think her name was Diana Geneen.
You do convey rather well the way athletes have such amazing physical presence and power.
Cynthia, typing this having read everyone else's comments as well. Is there a ballet thing going on here?
I can picture a beautiful ballet dancer doing her exercise routine at the barr and following the verses of your piece.
One thing for sure is the interplay and final coming together of the elements works really well. Ray is sadly right about the extra "u" in the title, but titles can be spelt any way you please. Very best regards, Graham
I like the poem mostly. I tend to agree with Laura about the last verse. I find the title mystifying - it's misspelt, I think - glamorous. But still, Glamorous Exercises... means?
Lovely cadences and very evocative, Cynthia.
HI CYnthia THanks again for your generous comments on Scholars. The Victorian classroom was indistinguishable for my own 1950s one!
I really enjoyed this poem, Cynthia, it's beautiful.
I was loving 'and the rocks obey' rhythm and then you went and fiddled with it at the end! I like the use of low/wide/upon/deep/into as opening words, also the use of the elements in the 'obey' last lines, which you pull together in the last verse. It IS like an exercise, in its structure. Interesting.
Crackin' cheese, Gromit!
I can enjoy all forms of poetry, Cynthia, but I like rhythmic structure best of all.
This hits the spot.
It's a delightful poetry. Love it so much. With warmest wishes, Larisa
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Gareth Writer-Davies
Thu 3rd Nov 2011 23:00
This is good stuff! Wonderful vibe within a tight structure.