Sunday Girl
Comments
I enjoyed the mixture of nostalgia and hoped-for young romance that brings this story to life.
I felt that some of the punctuation (and a few
"and"s) could have be given more attention and
words like "holey" and "slobbering" needed no
repetition) - but -
the tale itself, the imagery and many of the
descriptive passages were well done.
I wanted to keep reading to see what happened -
always a good sign and the ending was very
imaginative.
Good luck with it.
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Steve Rudd
Sun 30th Oct 2011 18:13
Thanks. I finished it with the deadline for submissions looming, and therefore I had little time to polish it.
If it bombs (and the competition is always massively over-subscribed, so I am not holding out any hopes!) I may take it and give it a few tweaks.
I wanted to write a story in which nothing really happened, just to see if I could do it.