Suffering with the thing that drives

fear into the hearts of most people –

‘toilet trouble’ –

 

I spent a couple of weeks

panicking and avoiding the

inevitable.

 

Eventually, I swallowed my

pride and made an appointment

with my doctor.

 

I rarely go to see the doctor. Like a

lot of blokes my age and of similar

background,

 

I have this weird aversion to

doctors and hospitals. It’s

almost as if

 

admitting to being ill is worse

than actually being ill for

some reason. Anyway,

 

sat in his office, I described my

symptoms. He told me that

he would have to

 

examine my prostate. He

told me to take my trousers

down and bend

 

over the examining table. As

he snapped on some rubber

gloves, a part of

 

my mind began to think of

funny things I could say. It’s

my way of coping

 

with tense situations – always

has been. I laughed an empty

laugh, looked at him

 

and said: ‘Well, aren’t you

going buy me a drink first

at least?’ He

 

shook his head, sighed.

He’d probably heard

that one many

 

times before. I sighed and

got into the position. Tough

crowd, indeed.