Kevin Cornflake sauntered up to the bar

Everything fell silent in the saloon,

The bartender produced a bottle of bourbon

It was a sweltering day at high noon,

The Weetabix twins looked nervous

Karl Coco Pop’s eyes darted to and fro,

Peter Porridge gazed up from his cards

Shaun shredded wheat was about to blow,

 

A wagon screeched to a halt on Main Street,

Freddie Frostie strolled in like he owned the place,

Anita All Bran hanging on his arm,

With a great big bustle and a sweet smile on her face,

Roger Ready Brek was looking for action,

Steve Special K’s trigger finger was twitching,

Charlie Cheerio’s eyes narrowed as the tension rose,

Brian Bran Flakes sat at the poker table cussing and bitching,

 

Karl kicked over the table and went for his gun 

A single shot from Kevin dropped him clean,

The twins raged and stormed up the counter,

Two barrels between the eyes – know what I mean,

Roger pulled out a shotgun but his aim was gone,

Peter and Freddie weren’t so quick on the draw,

Shaun was shredded and Steve was ko’d,

A blast from Kevin they ain’t breathing no more,

Those that were still standing ran for the door,

 

Kevin slammed his glass on the bar once more

And watched the bartenders shaking hand pour,

And so the story finishes just like a thriller,

The legend of Kevin Cornflake – The cereal killer.