I saw a trailer on the telly the other night.  It was rather disturbing.  I think it trailed a programme about Crufts.

A shot of a couple of seconds or so showed two dogs shagging – poodles, they might have been.  Nothing particularly memorable about that except that kneeling behind the dog was its lady owner, cupping its balls and assisting its rhythmic thrusting.

Well! My mind raced!

At first I thought this: ”I’ve seen stupid old women carrying dogs in baby pouches before but this is taking pandering too far.”

The second thing to cross my mind was, “What kind of woman will hold a dog’s balls while it’s shagging and talk dirty to give him extra encouragement?”

But the final (and enduring) thought was, “I’d like to meet her!”