Cuckoo
Great poem, tying the idea of the 'problem' cuckoo to the problems they 'cause'.
Agree with Greg, rhythm is excellent, and I really like the idea behind it.
These lines are really stand-out:
Tie blooms to the railings and leave them to wither,
to remind us we die if we need to remember.
Three days for the flowers to wilt
One less in the swelt of the summer
Deadheads bow brown in a semblance of grief
For the blood and bone bedlam that played out beneath.
Brilliant.
that last line really hit me, John.
excellent stuff
I feel sorry for shrine trees, stood years upon years with ribbons and photos of grief even when the spring has turned again.
Great rhythm to this, John, and well-chosen words: "wither", "wilt", "estate agents' bluster". Maybe you could consider adding another stanza, to give it even more impact?
I have a feeling this one will stick in the memory
Very moving John - in a sad mournful way. I like the way you juxtapose the tragedy with the inconvenience of it all. I can remember suicides on the underground when I used to commute and how all that tragedy condensed itself into frustration at being trapped or late for work, or late getting home.
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Neil Fawcett
Fri 18th Oct 2013 22:51
Love it. It puts me in mind of the undertow that's the drag of modern life. On the surface all is well, neatly packaged, swell. But beneath there is the damage, to us all, it's just that some pull the quick release.