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It's different

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It's Thursday morning in Asylum Link.

The English class has a visitor,

Community policeman Phil.

Kindly, friendly Phil.

His honest face has our attention.

He smiles, they smile, we all smile.

Roads – safety – cars – safety -

licences and rules – safety – bikes – safety.

How to be safe, in a nice warm voice

in a nice, warm country.

Good old Phil.

Rambles on about policing in Britain.

Then he asks the killer question.

Is it different in your country?

And the man from Syria says

(very quietly)

Yes, it's different.

So quietly,

he can hardly be heard.

It's very different”, he says.

His quick rueful smile is knowledge

from a world I cannot comprehend.

The talk moves on to Lahore and bribes,

but the man from Syria is not listening.

His eyes are unfocused.

He is far away.

Where is he?

Where has he traveled in the last few seconds?

Somewhere different.

Somewhere very different.

 

◄ Keats

Touching the hem of the robe ►

Comments

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jane wilcock

Sun 22nd Sep 2013 15:00

a room of contrasts, I really found this thought provoking, great observational poetry.

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Greg Freeman

Sat 21st Sep 2013 14:02

Concerned, humane, looking outwards. I like the terse title, too. Well done, Dave.

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Isobel

Sat 21st Sep 2013 08:34

Great observational poetry Dave. So many people wouldn't have seen what you saw - or felt it.

Sometimes the effort to describe something terrible is just too great - and to what point? People still wouldn't be able to comprehend, even if you found the words.

You communicate all that feeling so well.

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Chris Co

Sat 21st Sep 2013 08:22

The repetition of 'safety' is apt as is the observation that led to the poem.

Where has he traveled to in the last few seconds?

Coming back to;

'somewhere different' and its onion layer refrain 'somewhere very different' - that is where the poetry is for me. Very real and doing what poetry should, it was one of the poems that really resonated at The Spoke.

In terms of crit...

I would tend lose the capitalisation with new lines following a comma. It's nothing more than a stylistic preference, but such capitalisation is rarely seen these days (more associated with poetry from a bygone era).

Best of

Chris


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Ian Whiteley

Fri 20th Sep 2013 19:24

very powerful piece Dave - there is a real resonance in what is not being said as much as what is there - it gives the reader space to wonder....the repetition of the word 'safety' early on lulls you into a false sense of security - and whilst the pay off isn't gory it is still quietly horrific - I think this one would work really well when read live - good stuff mate
Ian

Philipos

Fri 20th Sep 2013 19:13

Agree with Cynthia - powerful. 'Somewhere very different says it all'. Cheers. P.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 20th Sep 2013 17:28

Excellent, just plain - excellent.

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