FOR “OUR KID”

 

Well,

We were told,

“I’m sorry it looks like cancer’s taken hold”

I suddenly went cold ....

Specially when they said

And smiled

“Think about those who’ve survived”

And I remember hearing myself scream,

From what seemed

Another room,

“What about the poor fuckers

Who don’t?”

And I watched my sister

Die in pieces.

And I didn’t give a fuck about those who recovered

And I remember my mother

Broken

Trying to come to terms

With the fact,

She was going to outlive her daughter

And crying

“This isn’t the way it ought to be”

“It should be me”

And my sister continued to

Die in pieces

In slow motion

A shadow

Spider like

Clinging to her dignity

As she pissed the bed

Frightened, unprepared

I never wanted her to be scared

I never wanted her to die

Not like that

She was no longer brave

But she was still my sister

My minder

My friend

My defender

When things were bad

And I had nothing

She fought, she tried

We laughed

She cried

I lied and told her it would be fine

As memory took its course

And passed

In pieces                                                                  

As I forced a smile

Kissed her cheekboned cheek

And said goodbye

Couldn’t look her in the eye.

I was going away

Knowing if I stayed

She would try to stay alive.

That would have been so wrong

I couldn’t get the song

“Always look on the bright side of life”

Out of my head

Because there wasn’t one

She died while I was in Turkey,

On holiday.

I hope she found her God

And spat in his fucking face!!

Because for me there is no place

No excuse

To take a person

Slowly

In pieces

But at least I know now

That she isn’t frightened

Anymore

Sure I’m upset

And yet

There is comfort

In knowing

The final piece

Has been taken.

Goodbye our kid

But not forever

I’ll see you again in never land

You’ll recognise me

I’ll be the lost boy

Who’ll take your hand

And wink

And blink

As we walk into the light.

 

© By: - Pete Slater.   2013