OFF

 

Its New Years Day, I’m resolute,

This year I’ll give my greed the boot,

This year I’ll be a better man,

At least I’m thinking that’s the plan.

 

All worldly pleasure I’ll abjure,

And morally I'll be so pure,

I’ll pay my taxes with a smile,

I’ll even go that extra mile.

 

Then what-ho neighbour how are you,

And is there something I can do,

In need of this, just tell me when,

And then we’ll do it all again.

 

Your daughters what, well that’s a shame,

I fear I never new his name,

Your due in court well dreary me,

We’re sure to plan the perfect plea.

 

Your dogs got mange and needs the vet,

Well that’s no cause for deep regret,

If he’s infectious bring him round,

My home can be his curing ground.

 

But what you say your monies spent,

You can no longer pay the rent,

Well I still have a bob or two,

That I will gladly give to you.

 

A holiday, I say why not,

The Black Sea via Aeroflot,

The Costa Brava sunny Spain,

And you can take the Euro-Train.

 

A special diet ‘fibre free’,

Another job for little me,

A shopping trip to out of town,

Don’t worry I won’t let you down.

 

And what about your special treat,

Some pleasure that is hard to beat,

The theatre, some wondrous play,

Well that would chase your blues away.

 

And when I see you tired and broke,

Your ego then will need a stroke

I know you’d treat me like for like,

What’s that you say ‘get on your bike’,

 

I’m sorry I misunderstood,

I saw in you the common good,

Now resolute I’ll scorn and scoff,

And tell you firmly bugger off ..