Operation Barbarossa -

a double lightning strike

The Fatherland invading the Motherland

Barbarella fought shy at first

but grew to like the look and the feel

of his uniform

his kingdom

his power

and his glory

Ah, men!

Barbarossa’s gun was smoking

within sight of her fortified gates

She yielded to his advances

at the eleventh hour

luring him ever deeper

into the soft white sofa

in her lebensraum

Ich liebe dich!

(Moi non plus…)

Ratatatatat - ratatatatatat

But his strength and his joy -

though intense - were shortlived

His gun soon fell silent

its parts frozen

by the deadly touch of the ice maiden

Yes, the ice maiden cometh

straight from the military academy of

General Winter

Brrrrrrrrrrr - Brrrrrrrrrrr

And so -

his short sharp shock

undone

by her strategy of attrition -

The Queen took the King

and dragged him through the snow-white squares

trampled underfoot

by her shiny leather boots

made for walking

him

into

the

ground

She ground her heel into his gut

He got to feel

real

pain

chained and bound

not for glory

but only for a gory end

beneath the all-conquering

Stalinist

statuesque

Mother Russia

She will crush you

she will bury you

but first she will marry you

You will hear yourself say

Please say I do

Then you will hear her say

Please do as I say

Oh Barbarella!

Show me some mercy!

No, you’re right, I don’t deserve any

Your loving slave

Barbarossa

For fifty years

she wore the trousers

and he shaved his chin every morning