motherhood

Friday 27th March 2009 1:54 am

Growing inside of me I feel its form taking shape
Day by day this fresh new life grows inside of me
Taking nourishment from its parent as only a new life should
Soon this creation of brilliance within me will fill my thoughts in every waking hour
Forming peacefully within, wrapped in the comfort blanket of my body

I feel within me a presence growing but know not of how I feel as yet
A state of shock I guess that I have been chosen to carry such a life,
To bring new form to this troubled earth
As the days pass on my sickness troubles me more but it will only last a few more months
I never knew I had so many friends, so many who drop by and see me asking how “we” are doing
My mother she worries as only mothers do I think she feels this more than I sometimes

Its getting closer now Im sure I feel movement, we no longer move as one
A tiny blob has evolved and grown inside of me how scary is that?
I must have been “blessed” from above to be chosen to carry this special package
As my nausea grows my resolve shrinks, for now I just want it all to be over,
The constant discomfort the drain on my weakened body
This eating for 2 lark I still don’t get, hungry ha not nearly ever

The time draws near thank god above delivery is nigh
Im taken to the hospital, they know me so well by now
These pains are becoming unbearable now the doses should surely be more than this
I feel oh so weak but so certain I can do it,
They administer the drugs but not this time I guess my deliverance is now,
For my cancer and I

Comments

<Deleted User> (6315)

Sun 16th Jan 2011 17:39

Gosh, I met with a friend Friday last, he has been a week out of hospital after having his tumours out..this definately lead me down the garden path. I think it's great. :)

alan barlow

Fri 17th Dec 2010 23:25

thanks again for showing an interest philipos much appreciated
truth be known i have lost friends, family and pets to cancer, i have friends and family still fighting and friends in the clear so yes i have had a lot of exposure to "it". i just think it so cruel as the sufferers on the whole are so undeserving in my opinion, not that i feel such an affliction should be readily hurled upon someone with whom you get road rage with etc. but as isobel said i think that the stark contrast between life and cancer was what i was looking for and leading the reader astray was most definitely my intention. many thanks again to you both

al

Philipos

Fri 17th Dec 2010 23:14

Hi again Alan - just got your follow up - then decided to read another of yours called Motherhood the analogy between that state and the condition you describe in the last line is quite powerful and I did wonder if there might be some biographical connection within your peer group or family as it is quite a clever conceit (wit) to engage with - some poems just need to be decoded - best regards

alan barlow

Fri 17th Dec 2010 22:48

thankyou very much for your time taken to read this piece i know not of where the inspiration came from but i often catch myself looking at things from both sides or perhaps look at things from the "other" view point than what is widely accepted as the norm. perhaps that mindset lends itself to my different slant on the world, but yes most of it is dark as that often feels more natural than anything else ;-) but thankyou x

Isobel

Fri 17th Dec 2010 22:38

Dark - very dark and sad. I was totally wrong footed to the very end so the poem worked in the way it shocked. I don't think you could possibly have created a more shocking metaphor for cancer than motherhood - the antithesis of life for so many.
I'm fascinated by your motivation to write like this - I must admit - it is so alien to me - but then I've never been able to get my head round horror films either and millions of people pay good money to watch them.
That's not criticism at all. If we all wrote to the same theme and tone, it would be a bloody boring site and your poetry is definitely different. x

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motherhood

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