(EU asserts the "right to be forgotten")

 

There’s stuff you did as a student

With smokes that weren’t cigarettes

And photos that you might have posted

On FaceBook which cause you regrets.

 

A solitary night of misjudgement

Which memory still makes you sweat

The story that leaked of a threesome

With ladyboys met in Phuket.

 

The scandal of “Money for Questions”

For which you made baronet

That stuff with those boys that got hushed up

When you ran the Hove Sea Cadets.

 

The payback then came from your sponsors

Who stood for you all of your debts

You’d racked up when gambling at poker,

The gee-gees but mostly roulette.

 

The parties that made all the headlines

The swimming pool  filled with brunettes

The things that you did with bananas,

Pineapple rings and courgettes.

 

The Planning Committee you sat on

That project to build maisonettes

The builders’ backhanders and junkets

But that was as good as it gets.

 

For just as your star reached its zenith

Along came the great Internet

And stirred all your scum to the surface

Cos Google never forgets.