When the sale fell through,
Carl Side put his yoke and pike up for auction
At the place with the green gable
on the longside of the High Street. 
"Let's start on ten," said the auctioneer, a little man. 
"Five", said the grey friar.
"Too low, pike alone is worth eight," said the auctioneer. 
"I'll raise you twenty," said an old man. 
That's a high raise thought Carl.
"I'll raise another twenty" said Kirk Fell. 
What a couple of birks thought the auctioneer
As his gavel fell. 
That much silver, how will he afford it? 

Later, the grey friar's meal fell from his mouth
As he sat brooding on the auction, 
Like a wandope on the high stile by the sallows, 
Next to the white side of the old crone's cottage. 
"What a barf " said Sergeant Man. 
"I feel ill, bell me an ambulance," said the friar. 
"I ate so many odd things last night....heron, pike.....
It was the cold pike, must have been off!"
"Yes," said the sergeant, "it was high, pike goes off quickly. 
Here come the ambulance, off you sail." 

The place fell silent. 
Then "Ah," said the old crone, pushing her broom,
"Fell deeds are afoot, black fell deeds. 
From the high seat under the great gable it has been decreed 
That we should stone Arthur."
"The Lord's seat?" he asked. "But why?"
"Didn't you hear - Arthur's pike was found
Next to the body, by the pillar, under the steeple.
But there's been no trial.
The steel fell, it's true, but who knows by whose hand?"
"Stoning! How awful, my middle fell at the thought.
That's not a great end."
"Aye, and by this time tomorrow his body shall lie in yon barrow."
"That one past the grike, by the haystacks?"
"Aye, and yon haycock will ne'er have seen a sorrier sight." 
"What a great cockup," quoth he.