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Who are you?
I would love to know,
Hiding from the world
Amongst the most beautiful textures,
Soft dark strong wool,
Sink into the woven womb of your arms.
Rest my face against the crisp cotton heartbeat of your existence.
Beneath the fabric of your life,
I search for you
I strip you naked, listen carefully to your words,
You twist away from me
And leave me lost ,
<Deleted User>
Tue 23rd Jun 2009 09:35
Wonderful images,
I can't see a gazell shaped hole so it must have been extra to requirements.
Brittle and beautiful... like you.
Hi Carole, passionate, intriguing but sad, good stuff all round, nice one Jeff X
now steve , do i leave you to be eaten by a passing wolf , or do i rescue you with a smile :)
like some of the images - but this work is beyond me Carole... the lack of a full stop has me confused?
<Deleted User>
Fri 17th Apr 2009 18:27
read itmany times -love it and can relate to it
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 17th Apr 2009 12:46
Complexity within the simplicity.
I like this Carole.
Janet.x
Beautiful, passionate ... and you were right to ditch the gazelle. Now, it's spot on, and I'd love to know who it is about?!
Pete Crompton
Fri 17th Apr 2009 01:07
Very neat Carole, gentle and simple, enough said I suppose
Perfect!!!
Now... it is perfection ; )
Hello Lovely lips
Love this poem...yes Gazelle is wrong...
ghost, day dreams, summer snow, butterfly,
.....or heres a really good one Ted...a jar of pickled onions
Seriously though, this is a superb poem
love it
Gus x
Like this. Do you need a simile at all? - simply 'You twist away from me' works
Cx
Would be interested in knowing what you may do with a revised version off it, chuck but certainly on 1st drafts (if that is it) - I think it is sweet
Poem is very passionate...
I agree with you on gazelle... no suggestions right now though, except a comma after naked or use listening instead of listen or put the rest after naked on a separate line.
i first thought i hadnt written this myself , but then remembered , i dont like the use of the gazelle , its appropriate to the emotion and the description but not to the rest of the poem . so i might fiddle with it now i have found it again
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winston plowes
Wed 29th Jul 2009 10:32
Somehow missed this gem of a poem. Carole its wonderful. for me the best part is the way you make the characters part of the nature / material of the scene (without using the word interwoven! lol). Win x