As a lone (working) father who discovered that those little mouths to feed came attached with little legs to run errands, and little arms to eventually dress themselves and peel spuds etc;  And that siblings really did actually care for each other, I grew proud of my `hands on` experience as an honorary woman, and once sent this (slightly idealised) attempt to a woman`s magazine comp.....needless to say it got nowhere.   

 

Will you Mary, when I ask
Put that magazine away,
And Tommy, have you done the task
The teacher gave you yesterday?

 

And Peter, where`s that jar of ants
You said were for biology?
Keep them out of Tommy`s pants
Or else you`re going to hear from me.

 

Here`s the baby! Hello chuckles
Did my darling sleep okay?
Tommy stop! I`ll rap your knuckles!
Put that water-gun away.

 

Comb your hair now, wash your faces
Eat your cornflakes, drink your tea.
Has everybody tied their laces?
Do your coats up properly.

 

Mary, straiten up your bows,
Kiss the baby, close the gate,
Quick! before the school-bus goes,
Hurry up, you`ll all be late.

 

Wave bye bye pet. Where`s your dummy?
That`s them gone love, now we`re free
Let`s go in, and you and mummy
Have a lovely cup of tea.