I dreamed of Kim Kardashian

just the other day.

I dreamed that she had cellulite

and her hair was going grey.

I thought : she's just the one for me

we seemed to click and we talked

about the weather in Sowerby

and the cost of running a cat.

 

I escorted her to a burger van

we had a roll and coffee.

I thought she would have expected more

like champagne and banoffee.

We said goodbye and promised to meet

at the local bowling alley.

She gave me her number from a plastic purse

I was quite impressed with that.

 

She gave me a peck with her botox lips

firmly on the cheek

then I woke up and saw the wife -

she looked so sweet and fair,

but I thought if I swapped her for Mrs K

I don't think she would care.