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moving towards an unknown universe

Thursday 27th August 2015 8:30 am

so many guns

so many hands

so many homes

so many towns

so many States

so many ways

Disunited America today

plane crash in my old home town

gunshot echoes in a Virginia town

the distance covered by deep water

shipwrecks from here to there

news events shared and connected

cyberspace allowing it all to happen in an instant

exploding

we live in each other’s pockets

#facetoface

#handinhand

#stepbystep

moving towards our own shared destiny

close your eyes

and enjoy

the coloured lights

dance

a cosmic

kaleidoscope pattern

in an unknown universe

your silhouette

a dolphin dive

©Colsibabes 2015

◄ ...come.venture.out...

caught out ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 28th Aug 2015 20:11

Ray, feel free to waffle any time, always good to read your comments. I should return the compliment more often but let it be known your work is always read and enjoyed.

I don't feel qualified to offer solutions - only sadness at yet more pointless deaths - perhaps another reason for not allowing this piece to end after the first short sharp shock.

None of us have the answers - ultimately it is down to the will of a nation. God bless America (fingers crossed).

raypool

Fri 28th Aug 2015 19:51

Hi Colin. You've had plenty of comments, so I won't waffle on - but I feel as though the UK is being drawn in by osmosis to the US and this somehow reflects the dislocation of the experience. Amazing how enshrined is the gun law. I did like the closing of the eyes line , a strong link in the story.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 28th Aug 2015 19:01

thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts MC.

Harry, I agree, but please have a look at my explanation below if you haven't done so already. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

Harry O'Neill

Fri 28th Aug 2015 15:59

I agree with Natasha,
It is a much more powerful poem as she says.

M.C. Newberry

Fri 28th Aug 2015 15:35

We are now "connected" in this world as never before.
Today's 24 hour "global media" is a mixed blessing bestowing instant acquaintance with wondrous events allied to the horrors of war, murder and misery.
Gun crime says more about those who readily resort to
its use than the weapon itself. There is something
seriously amiss in the mental make-up of many who now
live in a country that has such a high serious-crime rate
that cannot be explained by simply condemning firearms
as "the cause". These are merely tools - that can save when used to defend life & liberty. The mix of mental
illness and drug abuse has much to answer for as the
real cause of crime involving firearms. Through
marriage I have extended family in Louisiana & California
and they would no sooner identify with these criminals
than commit crime themselves. U.S. society has some
social/medical skeletons in its closet that it would
rather ignore and instead puts "firearms" on the altar of
accusation and conviction when the real guilt is abuse
of adult responsibilities by the easy acquisition and violent criminal use of a otherwise "innocent party".

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 27th Aug 2015 16:40

Thanks RM,

it could just as easily be Disunited Kingdom - we have our fair share of problems as do most countries these days.

you should take that last line - swim with it and see where it takes you - make it your own with my blessing.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 27th Aug 2015 16:38

Hi Nat,

Yes - you are right to say that - the last part from 'close your eyes' was something I'd been working on before I scribbled the top part last night. It's not my style to do poems inspired by the latest news stories which is why I linked them together and added the middle section.

I grew up in Shoreham, knew almost every inch of the place and its surrounds, crossed the junction (where the plane came down) on countless occasions. It struck me that someone in Virginia would now know about Shoreham as I would now know Virginia, both for different but similarly tragic reasons. I wanted to bring that into the piece by showing how our lives are subconsciously(?) interconnected.

The 'close your eyes' bit is simply me being my usual self - wanting to escape and block out reality.

The ending is a throwaway line to be interpreted as you like although - for me - it alludes to a photo of a beach I saw recently.

I hope that makes some sense Nat - thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

<Deleted User> (13947)

Thu 27th Aug 2015 13:48

Disunited America. So perfectly labeled. Still have fresh tears from seeing the news report. No amount of surf will erase the sounds of her screams. Sunshine therapy today.

' your silhouette

a dolphin dive' made me smile. Another line I am envious is not mine.

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