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Syllabic Nightmare.

This sprung from an excercize which was supposed to revolve around a ping pong ball and how it changed my life and to be written in a twelve syllable format. It's odd how an idea can alter ones perceptions and create something quite different and completely out of context. I don't make any bones about my lack of poetry terminology or skills but i am becoming more open to positive critique. So you can cut it, slice it, re-write it or add something to it but please don't have me searching the dictionary to understand it.  :-)

 

Inflated grey torpedos, hovered overhead.

Just like Santas sack, tied with a bow and some string.

A mustering of storks caught their beaks in the loops.

I stood transfixed, awaiting my impending doom.

 

A shower of ping pong balls covered in white fur.

Thousands in dozens and more came in tens.

I was smothered from head to toe.

 

Inhaling the sulphur from Lucifers match

I was drowning in asphyxiation and toxic poison mass.

Suffocating bilious smoke choked

my tortured screams hollow

howled through the silence of an ebony sky.

 

Lumpy words stuck in my throat, as dry as

polysterene solidified.

Let me out!

There's no way out!!

Arghhhh!!!

 

A glimmer of light.

I awoke in a cold hot sweat,

feathery fur strewn across the room

as the cat jumped off my face.

 

 

 

◄ Small talk.

Comfort Zone. ►

Comments

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Horace Thespider

Wed 24th Jun 2009 07:43

Janet
Thanks for your kind comment. I have been pursuing a musical comedy project with a friend for the past few months.
Why have you removed the photo of yourself. Are you undergoing metamorphosis?

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Isobel

Tue 23rd Jun 2009 14:00

Mmmm - someone threw you a challenge of writing a 12 syllabic nightmare - wouldn't mind taking a guess on who that was! lol x I tried doing that and ended up tying myself up in horrible knots. I think that if you perform a piece well enough you can lose the odd syllable here and there - just distract them with a sexy growl or a purrr here and there. Well done for taking up the challenge Janet - I like some of the imagery in here - it is very different - particlarly 'throat as dry as polystyrene solidified' - reminds me of how I feel after the Tudor sometimes!
Isobel x

<Deleted User> (5646)

Tue 23rd Jun 2009 12:16

thanks Cate but it was only a virtual nightmare.
I asked someone to set me a challenge to get me writing something again. Didn't manage the criteria for it but it did get me writing again.

Janet.x

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Cate Greenlees

Tue 23rd Jun 2009 10:38

Ahhhh... Im living the nightmare with you Janet!.....usually a dream like this when something is pressing down on you ,and you feel like you`re drowning, means something is very amiss in your life. Lucky you to wake up and find it was only a cat!!
Cate xx

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