I felt it could happen at any time
that I would know when
then on the cliff looking out to sea I knew it
the drop enough
enough of a drop
to deal the blow
on the undertow
and though
the waves were flecked and bright
the time had come
for everlasting night.
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 3rd Dec 2015 11:16
Ray, I like this but I think the title is too obvious and gives too much away. Hope you don't mind me saying?
I like also that it reminds me of so much - cliffs and suicide go hand in hand - it's difficult to disassociate the two - the lure of walking nearer the edge - the wondering what it would be like - the temptation of everlasting night.
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raypool
Thu 3rd Dec 2015 12:10
you're bang on Colin with the title. I agree that it took over the whole purpose of the poem. It's nice to have that sort of genuine input.. Thanks
I hope the new title works! Ray