As I sit here smoking my cigarette (knowing I will never die)

by David R Mellor

Wednesday 30th December 2015 11:42 pm

As I sit here smoking my cigarette...

I realise I will never die

because, I have never lived

never breathed in the air of a new day

without attaching the exhaust to it.

Never tasted a kiss

anew (anew anew FOR GODS sake, let us be seated)

always tinged with sadness and regret

like the parting from you mother (BLAME BLAME just open the wine)

does she wish I was another

as I sit here

with the years

and misplaced, possibilities, keys, coins, tears

betting slips, odd socks and love letters, ripped in shreds

I realise … that I actually died a thousand times

each chiselling a line

on my furrowed brow

As I sit here smoking.

My last cigarette

Comments

David R Mellor

Thu 31st Dec 2015 17:07

Thanks Stu for your thoughtful comment and yes that line is this backdrop and the sabotaging brackets

David R Mellor

Thu 31st Dec 2015 17:04

thanks for your lovely comment Robert . i think the brackets are something of a counter voice , but i do see what you mean . thanks again

David R Mellor

Thu 31st Dec 2015 17:01

Thanks Vicki for taking the time to comment , glad it resonates and yes the brackets are exactly that

Vicki Ayers

Thu 31st Dec 2015 16:21

I could use this as my mantra - I really enjoyed it & identify on all levels! I also agree with Stu I like the brackets - to me it's like my inner voice talking - you know the one you can't turn off but wish you could! Nice one xx

Stu Buck

Thu 31st Dec 2015 10:36

great piece. i disagree with robert (purely a personal choice however) and think the brackets add an important fractured backstory. the key line here is 'does she wish i was another'. so much said in so few words

Robert Mann

Wed 30th Dec 2015 23:59

I like this work on many levels, but I'm not sure on the bracketed passages - do they add enough to halt the flow, as they seem to in my mind?
Love the flavour of regret, and the false conviction in the quest to quit.

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As I sit here smoking my cigarette (knowing I will never die)

Comments

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