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'Betrayed by the hands' by Phil Kay is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week

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The new Write Out Loud Poem of the Week is  ‘Betrayed by the hands’ by Phil Kay, as we remember the centenary of the first world war battle of the Somme. The poem is about men making their final preparations before going over the top, and into the line of fire. Its final line is just  two words: “Whistle blows.” On his profile Phil, aged 56, describes himself as an “unrepentant punk rocker”. A former seafarer, he now lives in Cottingham, Hull. Write Out Loud sent Phil our usual quick Q&A. Here is his poignant and inspirational reply.

 

“I love books... and as a young punk I got into JCC [John Cooper Clarke] and Linton Kwesi.. Very political. Up until then poetry was something they inflicted on me at school. I also lived in Japan and New Zealand and learnt about haiku and saw a great Kiwi poet, Sam Hunt, and his mate Gary McCormick ... fantastic.

My son, who I lost last year to bone cancer, inspired me to write. As we sat on the teen oncology ward I would try to write down what was happening from an emotional point of view and that’s when I discovered  how cathartic it was to write. I learned to understand things by reading my flow of consciousness back to myself. By documenting all the beauty we also experienced during the filth I kept a semblance of sanity. He was the one who said: "That’s good, dad". https://www.facebook.com/Kia.Kaha.David was it really ...  still is.

So I’ve written with intent for about a couple of years. My writing is for me. It’s commentary and also very personal one way or another. But I discovered it’s nice when people praise your work. It very very much helps me heal and cope subjectively.

I have this year started doing a few open mic nights …. but I get so nervous me knees knock so much, the words vibrate. But I have had great support from people in Hull, especially at Away With Words at Union Mashup put on by the unstoppable Jim Higo. Fluffy Rob Eunson helps me with positivity. Loads of local poets. And the wee Goth Genevieve L Walsh.

Laura Taylor and David Moore (Wolfgar) inspire me on here, and generally. I wish I could read everything on here though. And sometimes I do try. Laura reading ‘Dear Margaret’ sent shivers up my spine. I wish I could....

I don't have a favourite poem, just a lot I like ... I could read Joe Strummer and Tom Waits lyrics all day, if that counts?

I would have to have music and books on a desert island so some sort of electronic device with solar panels and a large memory. And a picture of my son.

 

Betrayed by the hands.

by Phil Kay

Check the bolt

For action

Hands slip and slide

Mud and sweat

Sweat and mud

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

“We’ll be alright”

“Aye”

Said a thousand times 

a thousand times

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

Check the bayonet

Check the bolt

Fucking hands

Shake

And sweat

Fucking hands

Shake

“Alright mate”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

“Alright mate”

Pissed me kecks.

Its ok

Haha couldn’t 

get to the bog

We’re stood in

One

Joke.

Check the bayonet

Fucking hands fucking hands

“Alright mate”

“Alright mate”

Fuck em it’ll be alright

“Did you see the first wave”

“No”

We’ll be alright

I love these men

Can’t say it

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

 

Whistle blows. 

◄ Six young poets listed for £20,000 award

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Comments

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Various

Sat 9th Jul 2016 17:50

Dear Beth thank you for your comments... war is and always has been and always will be an ugly business. Before action things become tunnel vision, routines are a distraction, words lose meaning, so little is said other then reassurance, small jokes, and above all nothing to betray fear... which is why the hands are the betrayal. This is still how it is dealt with now.

LCPT its amazing isn't it, you are so right that common place is reached for in these circumstances, reassurance to banish fear... but mainly to be able to believe your not alone.
Thank you.

Beth Harris

Sat 9th Jul 2016 14:58

poems like this inspire me, reminds me why I write. To touch the reader as they read it through out. Experience in war or not. My faveroute catagory I enjoy to read are poems about war!
It allows me to give a better insight, and a clear imagery on what it would feel like I the war, the repetition through out the poem gives me that insight! It allows me to see the way you view situations like this in your eyes. The descriptive writing you use, is something I like to call a gift. The way you describe the emotions the soldier feels is extraordinary! The first stanza really opened that up for me " fucking hands - shake" to me this describes a clear image of fear. The fear of killing another, almost being killed, or the fact that seeing others be brutally destroyed by another's hand, clearly explains the fear running through the soldiers mind! This is what I call a poem :)

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Various

Fri 8th Jul 2016 16:50

Thank you for all the lovely words... EP, MC, Julian..
People in this situation don't wax lyrical.
Its the closeness that moves people forward.

elPintor

Tue 5th Jul 2016 18:32

You've conveyed so much about human nature under duress through this exchange between soldiers..so glad to see the "good side" of our humanity get some much needed attention.

Great work and congratulations, Phil,

elP

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 5th Jul 2016 16:42

The staccato short lines are so suitable for this material,
a heart-thudding evocation of what it must feel like,
trying to face "going over the top", with the only real
consolation against the reality of violent death being the company of your comrades.

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Julian (Admin)

Tue 5th Jul 2016 11:02

At a time of great uncertainty in the world, this is indeed timeless, viscerally reminding us that war is more than a game played by politicians.

Great poem, great choice. Thank you.

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Stu Buck

Tue 5th Jul 2016 10:52

does a wonderful job of turning numbers into humans and in doing so is infinitely more heartbreaking.

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Various

Tue 5th Jul 2016 10:31

Thank you so much. Positive words from people who I respect immensely.

I wanted to show more then anything the love that exists in these places... because I do firmly believe that we need to see that as much as the horror.

And also I wanted to write something that could be timeless in the sense that people going to harms way now do not feel different, nor is the bond.

All those men and boys from working places died with the love of the man next to him carrying him. Pals.


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Laura Taylor

Mon 4th Jul 2016 16:27

Nice one Phil :) Very stream-of-consciousness this one, too. Keep writing fella.

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steve pottinger

Mon 4th Jul 2016 09:44

It's a fantastic poem which puts me there, in the trench with him, with my hands shaking and the taste of fear in my throat. A wonderful piece of work. As David says, Phil, your boy would be proud.

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