Fairy Cakes

 

They believed in a mythical being,

who supposedly loved his creation.

Omnipotent and all seeing -

His will needing no explanation.

They followed his lore from an old book

written by disciples raising the stakes -

that one thing they just shouldn’t cook

were those sinful and bad fairy cakes.

 

“Good will to all men” they proclaimed

(but the women didn’t get a mention),

yet the white bearded god was acclaimed

for his homo-erectus invention.

Famine, starvation and war

were delivered for all of our sakes

but don’t ask a bakery store

to decorate those bad fairy cakes.

 

So they prayed for divine intervention

to rid them of this abomination

(peace and love didn’t get a mention

as they beat out their biblical frustration).

They sprinkled their mixture with bile

and threw in the nuts and the flakes

but no way on God’s green earth

were they going to bake bad fairy cakes.

 

The priests were getting quite frantic

(momentarily forgetting the joys

of their extra-curricular antics

with unwary, young choirboys).

But when the devil is hungry,

you do whatever it takes

to keep him away from the bakery

and those blasphemous, bad fairy cakes.

 

The god squad were all up in arms

at the thought of all of those “queers”

messing with their teacakes and barms -

it resurrected disturbing fears

that at the last supper it’s written

there were no hens, only drakes,

and who knew if they were smitten

by a batch of those bad fairy cakes.