Old Romantic

 

The roses gave her hay fever,

the chocolates made her fat,

if I were to believe her

that would be the end of that.

She complained the wine was bitter

and the card was over priced,

my verse didn’t raise a titter

‘cos it wasn’t very nice.

The lingerie was far too tight,

misunderstood agendas,

I looked a proper sight

in the stockings and suspenders.

I thought the supper I had cooked

would make her fall into my arms

but I actually got fucked

when it set off the fire alarms.

Valentines day’s over rated

just another sad excuse

to spend money on inflated

prices at the restaurants you choose,

so we’ve decided to ignore it

and it hasn’t raised a tear.

We don’t need that ‘special day’ shit

we love each other all the year.

 

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

daffodils are yellow.

Fuck it!