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Long distance

It’s 30 miles from mine to yours

But every night it feels like more

When I get in and clear my head

I want you but get me instead.

 

The smell of weariness and gloom

Has killed your hairspray and perfume

Though misplaced socks and sleeping mask

Make through the week a simpler task

 

In this, my fucking freezing flat

(No you to sort the thermostat)

It feels like Elton John was right

This really is a timeless flight

 

Like watching Earth from on the moon

Hoping to return home soon.

What is home? I still don’t know

Perhaps our hearts and minds do, though.

 

Your real life home requires a car

My lasso doesn’t reach that far

But if it could I’d throw it long

To bring you back where you belong

 

We’d make our bed and lie in it,

Not getting out till we saw fit.

To confirm true love’s persistence

In the face of life’s long distance.

🌷(2)

◄ M56

Cigarettes and Rum ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 1st Mar 2017 14:33

I'm with Travis on this one. Read it over and over and out loud and check the syllable count in each line and see if you can't improve the flow. I think it'd be worth it. Cheers, Col

Travis Brow

Wed 1st Mar 2017 07:22

Hello Neil, I think you could tighten this up a bit grammatically, but it has the hallmarks, for me at least, of a good poem.

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