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MOMENT OF TRUTH

I reckon I got it figured out

the big picture, how we got here

why we're different from those early critters

who stood and couldn't figure diddly squat

you know - that blink of time

when something big came to town

from out there....

 

     looking up I followed his gaze

 

 Then I figured how easily you can lose your way

your mind back to being a child again

all that history counting for nothing

in your own head.

 

    Walter, the ex NASA man took a long draught

    of his bud, shifted in the rocker,

    long moonlight etching his beard

    just right for declarations.

 

    Care to elaborate on that?

    was my reply on that verandah

    launch pad to velvet cold stars.

 

I know it's been thought of before

but what if something landed here

took advantage of one of those female critters

mixed their genes just for the hell of it,

how about that,

the rest would be history wouldn't it?

 

Then naturally enough their plans could'a gone astray

with disease an 'all, contamination and the like.

I figured it out I reckon,

and all those bible stories

the descending and the ascending and sichlike

all part of that tick tock of distant memory.

 

    I guess you could be about right

    was my reply.

 

Truth is, I think I may have lost the edge of late

confusion, can't remember too much

so I thought i'd let you know just in case

I might go for a walk out there an'

never come back from the bewilderness.

 

    We parted then,  and I watched his bulk

    as he went inside to his simple room

    where a picture of him at NASA control

    said more than I could about

    the leaking out of memory

    with all those fine fellows smiling right out,

    those colleagues he soon might

    never have known.

 

 

 

🌷(2)

◄ SACRIFICE

DESMOND HUGH ALOYSIUS ►

Comments

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raypool

Sat 22nd Apr 2017 21:30

I'm delighted to get feedback on this offering , to tickle the curiosity tastebuds, thank you all.

David, that clip is dead right for effect and in spirit -that leaves a big unanswered question. It seems to pull the carpet from under the film , which is what I like about the Coen brothers .

Thanks Andy - well spotted - it sort of oozed out, who knows
what words are going to come in - that's the challenge I suppose.

HI Col. You have that taped alright . I guessed your liking for the science fiction aura might come into play.
Difficult keeping up the voice -i'm not an actor, so that's another challenge!

Harry, I am highly flattered. Very stimulating response, and I see your Holmesian magnifying glass at play. I can only agree that you have extracted an essence of what I was after. The form point you make is certainly worth exploring - perhaps others more acquainted than me could work on that...

Mark: I took a chance in the conversational tone that I would take a tumble, but I thought, what the hell? The gentle and informative Alistair Cooke was a revelation of course and sadly missed. As he got old he measured his delivery for clarity, so professional. As far as the A to Z goes, perhaps it is time for more aliens with jump leads.

Bless thee selves for taking the time.

Ray

I didn't see you there Cynthia, so you have a postscript! Glad you enjoyed it and glad I was provocative. Thank you.

I think i'm right in saying that the idea of aliens coming here was taken up by Erick Von Danniken years ago and writing Chariot of the Gods - so the idea is not entirely original by any means. The book was derided at the time as being the work of an inspired crank.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 22nd Apr 2017 21:27

You are in fine form with an excellent contribution to just plain enjoy, and secondly to seriously ponder. I do like thought-provoking poetry.

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 22nd Apr 2017 18:00

This took me to those wonderful
Alistair Cooke "Letter from America"
radio programmes. Quality story
telling!
The use of words is vivid! Highly enjoyable in its content
and contention that there is so much we don't know - and
as we age, we also see even that becoming less and less if
the fates conspire against us...to "shut us down" just like
the computers we have invented to take the strain off
our brains.
If human progress is an alphabet, how far down the list
of A to Z are we?

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Harry O'Neill

Sat 22nd Apr 2017 15:07


Ray,
Even though `indisposed` I couldn`t
miss this one.

You open with the question no-one seems
to ask today, and your point about `we`...
`early critters` and `diddly sqat` Pose the
essential question; `If, as Aristotle says, a
human being is a rational animal, then where
did the rationality come from`? (your points
about `something big` and `we`re different`
implies the human monopoly of it by the
human race.

The guy imagines it came from some outside
(a refreshingly different picture than that one
about the bent old ape gradually straightening
up) And one that basically repeats the story
of Genesis.

The rest of his wonderings imagines what may
be a more (materially?)`genetic` interference
with some Eve or other and the monumental
cock-up that we since made of the precious
present of rationality (again sort of eerily kind
of fitting in with what happened afterwards in
Genesis)

That bit about going for a walk and not coming
back is both tragic and funny for us oldies who
are approaching the dementia stage. ?...or ?

The ending (given his previous connection to the
cutting edge space travel) is-humanly-very sad
indeed.

I realise that this is a very personal reading...but
poetry-essentially-is based upon Myth, And this
poem is asking some basic mythical questions.

On the form:
I have always been curious about
Flash fiction (which is mainly about story) and if
it could be combined with `free` in a new poetical
`form`. It seeems to me that - typographically -
free would get rid of of that prosaic `all-in-a-long
line denseness of Flash and make the whole look
more like a poem. (the final test is in the content).
I`d like to see someone develop this idea.

That Voice over is superb!

Thanks for giving me some brain exercise

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 21st Apr 2017 09:02

there is a sense of nobleness and self-sacrifice akin to Captain Oats walking out into the blizzard - your 'bewilderness' that seems to beckon both physically and spiritually. Initial first read impressions Ray. When I get some peace and quiet I will delve into your recorded rendition and see where that takes me. Like this one lots but then you probs guessed I might. Cheers, Col

Travis Brow

Fri 21st Apr 2017 06:27

Ray, 'the bewilderness' is a place that warrants exploration. I think you might have just added a new terrain to the lexicon. Ace.

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